The Troll’s Opinion – Star Trek

Wow, this movie was terribly…average. Gosh, what a letdown for my €7,50.

Now now, dear Trekkies, you would love to know what makes the Troll so sad about the new Star Trek movie? Honestly, I don’t know. This movie just doesn’t feel like Star Trek, no, it feels like what a fanfiction author would do with the franchise if you would give him a few millions and tell him to make a movie high on special effects about his personally written alternative storylines. That kinda brings it to the point.

Everything about this movie is average. The actors? Average, even though I have to admit that they made quite some cool choices for the key characters like Spock and Uhura (Zoe Saldana might be a bit skinny, but makes a very delicious xenolinguist). Also, I liked the way Chekov and Scotty acted in this movie. But what for the love of William Shattner got them to cast Chris Pine as the young James Tiberius Kirk? No matter what he does, he looks like a high-school dropout who tries to act all tough and bulky. Oh, what do you say? That’s his role in this movie? Sad, very, very sad. And oh so average…

You might think the story can save it? WRONG! Again, we meet an average two-dimensional bad guy (played by Eric Bana, known from his protagonist part in the “Hulk”), who has an average plan full of vengeance and hatred, and who has a lame and average Doomsday Device. My dear J.J. Abrams, did YOU write the script? Because, you know….did you lose all your awesomeness in the writing process for the twenty-fifth season of Lost? Are you sparing your energies for a totally awesome sequeal to Cloverfield? Or are you just kidding us? Really, get something different than [SPOILER ALERT!] frickin’ time-travelling!

So, that’s two points for Team Average. What could save this movie? Right, the special effects! I would be lying if I said that they sucked, because they were more than awesome. Gene Roddenberry would be kinda proud of what we can do with his franchise nowadays, and I guess he would have loved to be a part of the creation of these space battles. Still, I somehow have a hate for that extremely sterile look of the Enterprise, which causes a very interesting contrast with the ride of our two-dimensional big bad evil guy, however.

But still, some flashy effects do not make a movie awesome. When the credits started rolling, I said in my seat and had a very strong feeling of: “Mehh”. Is this all we can get out of such an awesome world and setting nowadays? Do we really have to resort to the most cheapest of storylines, with some not-so-awesome actors? I expected more of the revival of this brand, and thus, I feel very, very, let down. And I hoped that this movie was enough to get my brother into the Trekkie-camp. You have failed me, Abrams!

And thus, this movie get’s no more than 2 out of 5 “Fascinating”-remarks from me. I’m sorry Leonard Nimoy, but even your presence couldn’t save this movie.

Signed,

Aki

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Milius on June 7, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Excellent post
    Completely agree with it to be frank, some of the acting wasn’t that great, and the plot, was rather dull.

    glad your still going mate
    //Mil

    Reply

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